Book Review: What's Not Said by Valerie Taylor

Rating: 📚📚📚📚 What's Not Said is the debut novel of Valerie Taylor. It's a very realistic take on love, marriage, and everything in between. First, meet Kassie, a marketing executive, who has a lot going on in her life, a lot of stress. Then we meet Mike, the husband. Finally, there's Chris, the lover. Kassie and Mike met in college, the whole student-teacher affair happening, that eventually turned into something more. They get married and have been for a few decades. Like most marriages, the honeymoon phase don't last forever. Mike is controlling and emotionally abusive, and Kassie has spent most of their marriage being Mike's puppet. She takes a vacation alone and meets Chris. Chris is everything Mike isn't; kind, thoughtful, and attentive. Kassie eats up all that Chris has to offer and begins this distant love affair while still married to Mike. She's been contemplating divorce, but something gets in the way, and divorce gets put on the back burner. Chris relocates to Boston, and that motivates her to go on and go through with the divorce. Mikes falls ill, and his health condition comes to light putting yet another hold on Kassie and her journey to divorce. Kassie doesn't want to bring it to him, while he's not in a good state mentally or physically. She expresses to Chris that she feels betrayed and is angry that he would keep that from her and wonder what else he may be hiding, what else has been left unsaid. Which is funny considering she's been committing adultery and keeping it a secret from her husband, the irony. The novel is told from all three of the main characters' perspectives, which I enjoy. You get a small insight into how they see things, where their minds are, and get a feel of the characters themselves. It's a slow burn, but the slow pace is for the reader to understand the back story and why things got to the point in which it's at. What's not said is about the things we don't share, the lies we've told, and learning that communication is always best.

Book Review: Raising the Challenging Child by Karen Doyle Buckwalter, Debbie Reed, Wendy Lyons Sunshine

Rating: 📚📚📚📚📚

Raising the Challenging Child: How to Minimize Meltdowns, Reduce Conflict, and Increase Cooperation by Karen Doyle Buckwalter, Debbie Reed, Wendy Lyons Sunshine

“The best way to teach the children a habit is to adopt it ourselves.” — Abhijit Naskar, The Gospel of Technology

My daughter, who is now six years old, has been going through behavioral issues since head-start. When she got to pre-K, she got kicked out after six months. Last school year, she got suspended from school, and by the end of that school year, she got kicked out of her daycare for good. She is brilliant, and she is a sweet kid but has behavioral issues, attention-seeking.

I got to thinking about how I could break her out of her bad habits when I can't even cut my own. I have a troubled past and childhood that has left me a little angry (a lot ). I have a terrible temper ( which has improved, in my opinion ) and slight anger issues. I don't always make the best decisions when I am a little rattled. I have never shown it towards my kids ( I don't want them to experience what I did), which led me to be a little more than lenient in my discipline. However, they have seen me, and mom got at it, seen me get upset with others, and handle situations in an unfitting way. I take full responsibility for how my kids deal with certain circumstances because even though I try and teach them the correct way, most kids go by what they see.

 That is why I was happy when I received this book in the mail. Raising the Challenging Child is excellent for parents who lack the knowledge on how to properly communicate with their child or the best way to get through to them. All lessons stem from real situations and alternatives on how to handle it better next time. The authors offer tips throughout the book. Here are some of my favorites tips:

• Find ways to give your child more simple choices (red or blue, now or after breakfast) throughout the day. Choices=deposits. (pg. 21)

• Avoid questions that can be answered with a no. (pg. 64)

• Don't flood your child with consequences.

• Help your child feel valued. Emotional safety is just as important as physical safety. (pg. 82)

Raising the Challenging child has helped me with communicating with my kids better and getting through to my sweet little trouble maker. I highly recommend this book.